maybe i just dont like the way you are now.
or maybe im so pissed at everything that nothing is working out.

the only highlight this week is that i got a tan.
i cut my fringe.
saturday is where i get to see all my sweet souls again.
meeting sam of friday. lets just hope she didnt get me a sex toy.
sunday is kaira's fight. hopefully i can go. is also the day i see him.

i should be a yes girl and maybe change my life.

maybe is should change entirely.

need to go make lists now.

like yours.

Dear God,
I dont want to guess and I dont want to assume. I just want to know the truth. I dont want to be kept in the dark. I dont want signs to point me in no direction at all. I just want to know if there is something out there worth for me to hold on to.
Love,
Danielle.

so these few days, my friends are going through a rough patch. and i pray that things get better. i hope things start looking up for them. there are alot of things i want. alot of things that i do want to make sure its still here. friendships. and relationships. amends have been made. old friends rose from the grave. and yet, i still find myself missing those who have left this world.

i have a phone that is not working. and the only time to get a new one is exactly one year away. this is where i find myself, saving up every single cent. alot of things to do in the next year to come. Bangkok-ing with friends. waxing with friend. and now i have to afford a new phone because my space button is beyond spoiled and being the text junkie that i am, this is a huge problem.

someone's brithday is in march. and its his 21st. and, i dont know what i should do. and considering that i might be in Bangkok on that day. saddens me. lets just hope that i can find something suitable.

got a gift from him, it was funny but i think he gave it alot of thought. unlike me. just take one book of the shelf. then kena scold. knn.

i hate the ups and downs of life.
but you have to accept it.
even if time when you hate your own skin.
you just have to live with it.

you just know it when you feel it.

merry christmas!

so i just got back from chomp chomp with my godparents and jess, i'm beyond full now.
considering that its past christmas.
i should do a christmas entry.
BUT THERE IS 12DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!
so forgive me if the post is weird.
i only had 1 1/2 hours of sleep for the past 24 hours.

so here are the pics.


the christmas feast with roast beef, turkey, ham, AND ALOT MORE.


my sister with different parents.


family portrait.


up close and personal.


some things never change.


my cousin's eyes were open okay?
just that they're weird.



dessert party!
and i didnt take pictures of booze.


curly hairr!
i almost burnt myself.
TSK!

anyway, so after midnight mass with family and Jane and Sandra, i had to run off.
so no pictures were taken in church.
this christmas was spent on a really wonderful note.
i got to spend it with family and jane.
mass was good.
afer praty was good.
even talks at 3am in the morning with my cousin was good.
waking up to korean christmas songs and having prawn noodles was even better.
even though i had to work, this christmas was worth it.

i shall continue with boxing day when it happens.
HAHA

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

xoxo((:

fuck you and you.
thank you so much for spoiling christmas.
and to think plans have been cancelled to accomodate people like you.
so seriously, fuck it.
because you dont even think about the inconvenience that you're posing on other people when you go and so domething like that.
so much for friends.

at least there's tomorrow to lighten up my mood.
i'm going sauna and tanning with sher tmr, and dinner with ben.
just hope he likes his present.
even though it was slightly over budget and last min.
i think mine would be worse.

i need to get tickets from kaira soon.

when they say christmas is a time for reflection, its true.

kaira;
i missed you to the point that i cried.
and, i'm going to do my best to go to your fight.
i missed your hugs.
i miss telling you random things.
i missed you most of all.

((:
merry christmas.

again, lazy to update. haha.

BINTAN KILLED THE BANDWITH STAR.

on 16th Dec, we left sunny SG to go to a not so sunny Bintan.



oh look, its the ferry which made half the population in there seasick. i puked like 5 times? and i've never gotten seasick before. trust me.


so the first thing we arrived, we saw many guys from resorts. i think they were like guys who pick people up to the resort. because it was just so damn far away.

ours was the ugly light blue bus. HAHA. and the trip there was so long and bumpy. and you see funny statues of animals. there were two orang utans that looked like they were humping each other. HAHA.


part of the golf course. which was the entrance to the resort. which was still a 5 min drive away. KNOW YOU KNOW HOW BLOODY FAR AND HUGE THE DAMN RESORT IS?

and so we say hello to Bintan Lagoon Resort.
with pretty deco and prettier lights.




the cutest and most annoying cousins around.

ain't she sweet?

the chair supposed to have cushion ah. but i think recession. so they keep them so dont need to wash. save money on washing.

that's grandma. and the funkiest tap ever.



garden of eden. konichiwa style.

the biggest surprise. the rooms. OMG. HEAVEN.








THE BEACH IS FUCKING HUGE.
let me show you the comparison.
you might think i lied.

looks big right?

now it looks even bigger right?
see?
TOLD YOU.







HERMIT CRAB!

someone else's name should have been there with mine.




and then there was dinner.






an hour and 45mins, this post still isn't done.
forgive me for killing your bandwith.

and you know your beach house is a success when you have this on your balcony.

and the rest of the pictures are on facebook.

so sunday i went for Amanda's confirmation.
weird, not going back to st ant's for a damn damn long time.
met so many people.
old and new. (hello tab.)
and many memories came back too.
Jane and i were slightly late.
BUT IT WAS HER FAULT.
so we have more pictures too.

my favourite boy and girl in the whole world.



HAPPY CONFIRMATION.

his name is now giant.
and the rest is all on facebook.
yet again.

PICTURES OF CUPCAKE AND COOKIE DAY IS ON FACE BOOK.
AS WELLS AS AIRPORT ADVENTURE.
AND SKIPPING SCHOOL WITH HARUNA.
i'm tired.
and feeling pretty fucked up.
goodnight ladies and gentlemen.
KTHXBYE.

OHOHOH.
now i know where Byakuya's giant koi fishes went.


HAHA.
inside joke.
hopefully cs and nasri knows what i'm talking about.